The Garter Chronicles
by kbillygoat
Summary: Contains Spoilers for Series 3! A story inspired by this wonderful moment: Bates: Did you eat frog's legs and dance the Can-Can? Anna: No, but I did buy a garter…
1. One Year Anniversary

A/N: I decided to make a story about the amazing garter quote. I try to make this a companion story to season 3.

This is my first foray into writing fan-fiction. I'm studying to be an engineer, so it's probably not the most "creative" or "descriptive" story, but I don't think there's too many grammatical errors. (Engineers do math good, not English). And last but not least, Free Bates!

* * *

Anna stayed in bed refusing to open her eyes, knowing she would have to wake up shortly. She had been in France for about a week and was finally getting use to the routine it brought. Lady Mary and Mr. Crawley seemed to enjoy their time alone which provided Anna with more free time than she was used to having. In addition, Lady Mary enjoyed sleeping in while on holiday, so Anna had the opportunity to sleep an hour later than normal. Anna felt like she was catching up on a year's worth of sleep.

As Anna began to stir, she realized the date. "I was married a year ago today," she said quietly to herself. And of course, her husband had been in jail for 363 of those days. Anna had not slept very well during the majority of those nights. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him being arrested, being in jail and as the trial drew closer, she even imagined him hanging. Mr. Bates haunted her dreams. Not every night was bad, some nights she reimagined their past or pictured their future together. Those nights were usually the ones where Anna got more than a couple hours of sleep. But in the last month or so, Anna's body finally gave into the exhaustion and allowed her to sleep for full nights. The problem she had more recently was getting out of bed. When she slept, she at least had the chance of being with him. But awake, she realized he was gone.

Anna finally sat up and began to prepare for the day. She began absent-mindedly playing with her wedding band. She remembered how she did not wear the ring the night they were together in case someone saw it. The family now even seemed to forget that she was truly married to Mr. Bates, more than just carrying his name. Of course, Lady Mary knew, but maybe the rest of the family never heard about their one night together. That was actually one of the first thing Mrs. Hughes asked when Anna finally told her she was married. Mrs. Hughes was concerned about pregnancy and Anna being alone, but after a month, that problem was disregarded, but Mrs. Hughes' worry for Anna did not wane. Since Mr. Bates and Anna were legally bounded, there was no need in the last year for people to consider their physical relationship.

Anna chuckled as she remembered the conversation that Lady Grantham had with Mary before her wedding. Yes, two people together in love can have the most terrific fun. Anna appreciated that moment to laugh with some married women about their experiences, even if she had to remind them she was also married and understood what they meant. Lady Sybil seemed to be enjoying her mother's attempt at advice. But of course, Lady Edith didn't seem as enthused, the lone bachelorette in the room. It was so funny with everything that was going on in her life that Anna could still feel sorry for Lady Edith.

Everything Anna thought about came back to Mr. Bates. She recalled the time before either of them had admitted their love. He helped her make the bed, and how even he seemed to pity Lady Edith. It was so funny how long they tiptoed around the subject of love. But Mr. Bates always had his reasons.

Even in her own head, she would still think of him as Mr. Bates, but she was slowly working on calling him John. After 7 years of their relationship constrained to the formal address, he was Mr. Bates to her. But as she was now Mrs. Bates, she worked to think of him by his Christian name. Of course, she still referred to him as Mr. Bates around others, but she addressed all letters to him as John. One of the few times she called him John to his face was on their wedding night, in the throes of passion. There was something so intimate about reserving his name for special encounters. Even when they were laying arm in arm, Anna still referred to him as Mr. Bates. Anna smiled thinking about that night. One day, she will be able to call him John every day in their own cottage, and every night too if she wanted. Little hopes about the future gave Anna the strength to go through each day without him. But today seemed to bring the weight of the situation down on her like a pile of bricks. Has it really been a year? In some ways, it seemed many life-times ago, but she could still remember everything. Anna then realized she was stewing in thought for too long and had to hurry up to get Lady Mary's and Mr. Crawley's breakfast.

With the rustle and bustle of her mornings, Anna sometimes forgot she was in France. Her extra downtime in the afternoon allowed for opportunities to visit nearby towns and beaches and everything else the south of France had to offer. Anna was still trying to think of some way to bring France to John. She of course was writing details of all of the sights and experiences down to share with him. He was very adamant that she would visit France. He wanted her to enjoy the world for the both of them, and she took the request seriously. John was stuck in the same cell and same routine day after day. Anna had to be the light for him, the link to what was outside those walls.

After going down to get the breakfast tray, Anna walked to their bedroom and paused outside. She did not hear any sounds so she knocked on the door. She knew they enjoyed their privacy so gave them a little extra time to make themselves decent, if necessary.

After the appropriately length, Anna finally opened the door.

"Good morning, Anna." Mary greeted her.

"Morning, milady." Anna set down the tray.

"Any plans for today?" Mary asked.

"Oh, probably more of seeing the sights." Anna really had no plan, but she needed some time out of the house. She had walked around town the other day, but hoped to explore it a little more. She hoped she would find something to distract her. Distract her from what? Him? Because she would never stop thinking about him. But maybe she could surround herself with new experiences and force herself to be happy. This was never how Anna pictured spending her first anniversary: feigning happiness, alone, on someone else's honeymoon, her husband in jail.

Anna continued, trying to sound cheery. "I saw a little crêpe place nearby, I may try there. I would offer to bring you some back, but I'm afraid I may be out a while."

"No worries. We may meander around town a little later as well. It may be a little while but I'll ring when I'm ready to get dressed but I should not need you after that until dinner. Enjoy the town"

And with that, Anna left. She heard giggling from both Lady Mary and Mr. Crawley as she closed the door. A pang of jealousy surged through Anna. She had been trying to not let it bother her, but it was her anniversary. There they were enjoying each other when she could not even touch her husband. How could she not think of Mr. Bates and how they should be celebrating it together? Anna knew it wasn't Lady Mary's fault, but she wished they weren't always so happy. But alas, that's the whole purpose of a honeymoon, being blissfully happy with the one you love. Someday, Anna and John would have more than just one night. They will go on a little honeymoon once he is freed.

Anna walked back to her room with the thoughts of her future honeymoon on her mind. While it put a small smile on her face, she knelt down. Anna opened her suitcase and found what she was looking for. Anna did not mention to Lady Mary what her main plan was for the day. Anna had brought all the letters John had sent her so far. Anna swore there was a least 100 letters as she took them out. She planned on rereading each and every one. She needed some way to be near him today. Anna hoped she would still be up for town later in the afternoon. Some of John's letters brought her immense happiness, as he confessed his love and doted on her, but other times, they just reminded her of what they were missing. He never tried to show it, but she could sometimes read the pain he was in. Anna would even read those letters because they were a part of him. She sat down on her bed and took out the first letter.

* * *

A/N: I like the idea that Anna counted the days of his imprisonment, so I think my math is right (and I like math :) ) at 363 days Bates and Anna got married on a Friday, Lavinia's funeral was on a Monday, 1920 was a leap year. I couldn't find a date of Mary/Matthew wedding or Anna/Bates wedding, but they both happened in spring, so I thought the one year would work.


	2. His Last Letter

Anna regretted opening this particular letter almost immediately. For four months, the letter had remained sealed. All of the others letters had been read and reread, yet Anna avoided this one. This particular letter was supposed to be the last letter she would ever receive from John.

Some moments surrounding the trial seemed such a blur, but some were forever etched in her mind. One Anna remembered perfectly was standing for the verdict. Her John was innocent, everyone had to see that. Parts of the trial did not put him in the best light, but they did not prove him to be a murderer. Yet all the faith in the world could not calm Anna's nerves at that moment. The small doubt made her lips uncontrollably quiver and heart pound in her throat. She felt like she was going to vomit.

And then in an instant, her life was over. When the juror said guilty, she shrieked as her whole body shook. She had to say something, they got this all wrong, they could not hang him. She would have fainted if Lady Mary did not hold her. And even in this moment, she found John's eyes. He seemed completely defeated as he called her name.

John mentioned this moment in his letter. _Even as I knew my life was ending, all I could think about was you. As the judge sentenced me to death, I felt he sentenced you to the same fate and my heart broke. Anna, my life truly began when you entered it and is ending with your love. A man could ask for nothing more. I wish I did not cause you this pain when you have filled my life with everlasting joy._

Anna had to stop reading, her eyes too full of tears. This letter was supposed to be her connection to him forever. After years of repressing his emotions from her, Mr. Bates poured his heart out to her. Anna tried to keep reading, but her emotions were too raw. She had thought enough time has passed and that she would be able to handle this letter, but she was wrong. Her thoughts returned to their alleged last moment together.

Anna did not know what she would say to him. How were you supposed to have a last conversation with the man you loved? Anna feared she would ruin their last moments together by being bitter or crying uncontrollably. But as she sat across from him, all she could think about was how much she loved her Mr. Bates. All the pain in the world could not erase the meaning he had brought to her life. She vowed she would marry him again, even at that instant, and he swore he did not regret their love.

They just needed to touch one last time. Anna had completely forgotten about the guard until he barked no touching. Oh God, if John did not plead with him, Anna would have lost it. But alas, after months and months of no physical contact, they were able to embrace one last time.

Anna tried to kiss him with all the fervor of her feelings and he did the same. The kiss should have been painful, but it only brought Anna joy. She loved a man with her whole heart and he returned the love equally. The guard interrupted once again stating time was up. As John reluctantly let go, he handed her this letter. "Please, don't read this until after." John did not have to say after what. Anna placed the letter in her pocket and squeezed his hand once last time. The guard escorted John away and all she could do was watch.

Anna had almost completely forgotten about the letter by the time she got home. She was too consumed with emotion. How could she live another day if he was not on the earth? Momentarily, Anna contemplated ending her life. That thought still sends shivers down her spine. No, Anna could not be so selfish. John wanted her to live, and she could not disappoint him. Anna realized she would have to leave Downton. She would never be able to walk in those halls knowing he was not there.

Anna honestly thought she was leaving Downton Abbey and was grateful for the opportunity to join Lady Mary in America. But her plans changed once again once Lord Grantham told her that Mr. Bates had been reprieved. Later that night, Anna found the letter in her pocket, but decided against reading it. She could not dwell on his death when there was to be life. She set the letter on the bottom of stack, unsure if she would ever read it. From time to time, Anna would come across the letter, but she would always decide against it. Why rehash those feelings? John could tell her anything of importance during their visit or in one of the other letters. But Anna was urged to read the letter today. She was beginning to think she just did it to torture herself.

Nothing in the letter was particularly surprising or hurtful. She supposed it affected her so deeply because of the state of mind he was in. John was trying to fit their entire future into a single letter. Reading the letter made Anna feel worse than she did when he was sentenced. No, that's not true, not worse than that. But she had slowly repressed so many of those emotions over the last four months. And now they all came down on her with a vengeance. Ever since his sentence was commuted, Anna vowed to be strong. She still cried some nights, but she strove to not let it affect her work. And she now had the added work of proving John's innocence. Anna would not allow herself to break down if she was busy, so she strived to never let her body or mind idle.

Why was she such a wreck now? Was it because she finally had free time? Because he was so far away or it was their anniversary? Was it truly because of this single letter? Anna looked at John's words as he begged for her happiness and praised her strength and beauty. He said similar things in other letters, but these were his last words to her.

No, they are not. John is still alive and he will be free.

Anna jumped when a housemaid knocked on her door. "Where have you been, Lady Mary requested you ages ago."

Anna looked at the time. If she was a cursing woman, she would have let a few expletives out at that moment. But since she wasn't, she quietly mumbled thanks and stood up. She stashed the letters back into her trunk and hastened to the hand basin. She spotted herself in the mirror; her face was marked with evidence of her meltdown. Anna's noses and eyes were red and puffy. She had tear stains down her face and a general disheveled look. But Anna had no time to spare so she quickly splashed cold water on her face. She hurried to Lady Mary's room and tried to smooth her hair and uniform on the way. How could she be so stupid? Why did she read that letter?

"I'm so very, very sorry milady. I should have never kept you waiting." Anna apologized. She saw Lady Mary was already sitting at the vanity.

"Anna it's alright, it's not like I'm not going to be late for tea with the King." Lady Mary actually did not seem too disappointed. In a past life, Mary would have hated to wait a long time. But so much has changed in recent history. Mary began to be a bit more lax, at least with Anna.

Anna caught another glance of herself in the mirror as she began to brush Lady Mary's hair. Anna looked horrible and tried to avoid eye contact. But her attempts failed. Mary turned around and looked at her closely.

"Anna, are you alright?"

"Of course, I am really sorry I am late, I just got distracted."

"I'm not talking about you being late. You just look as if…" Mary paused as if trying to phrase it politely.

"As if I have been crying my eyes out?" Anna finished for her.

"Yes. So let me ask again, are you alright?" Mary asked again, but this time, grabbed Anna's hand.

"It's nothing to worry about. I was just being foolish."

But Mary would not relent. That was a characteristic they had in common, they both could be very stubborn. "Anna…" Mary replied in a challenging tone.

Anna had not wanted to trouble Lady Mary, especially on her honeymoon. But Anna knew now that she either had to come up with some excuse or just tell her the truth.

"Anna, please sit." Mary requested.

Other servants may disagree, but Anna truly considered Lady Mary to be her friend. It may not have always been this way, but the last years have transformed them both. Lady Mary was Anna's closest confidant, after Mr. Bates of course. And Anna knew Lady Mary felt the same way about her. Anna was the only person that Lady Mary would cry in front of. Anna remembered the time that Matthew was at war and how Mary would finally show some weakness, but only in front of Anna.

Anna and Mary have been through so much together. From the Mr. Pamuk incident to broken hearts, Mary relied on Anna. And in the last year, Mary had been Anna's strength so many times. As soon as Mary heard that Mr. Bates had been arrested, she sought on Anna. Mary had been the only one to know they were married. At first, Mary just sat and held Anna's hand. Not saying much, but just trying to comfort her. But finally, Mary insisted on accompanying Anna to tell Mrs. Hughes of the marriage. And during the trial, Mary was the main person keeping Anna sane. She would console her and looked after her.

Anna knew she was truly blest by her relationship with Lady Mary and that Mr. Bates was blest by Lord Grantham. So many families would have turned their back on two servants during such a scandal. But the family had supported and continued to support the couple. Anna would not know what to do if she did not have this job.

Anna finally sat down. The physical act of lowering her body seemed to also lower her guard. Before she knew it, Anna was bawling again. Her entire body was seizing, and yet, Mary just sat there with a hand on her back. Anna finally calmed herself down enough to talk. She took a few deep breaths and opened up to Mary. She explained that it was her anniversary, about the letter, about her pain, and even her guilt about spoiling Mary's honeymoon.

And Mary listened and listened. She would say a comforting word at the right time and stay silent as if knew exactly what Anna needed. And when Anna finished describing everything, a sense of relief washed over her. Yes, she still missed John horribly, but it was nice to be able to let all of those emotions out. She had held them in for too long. But Anna knew moments like these were a luxury she could not oft afford. While Lady Mary was sympathetic, Anna still had to responsibility of performing her duties as a Lady's maid and was overstepping boundaries by displaying such emotion. Anna decided to expunge those worries from her mind at this moment. She knew how to be strong, and most the time was, but she had her cry, now she can move on.

"Anna, you can take as much time as you need. I can dress myself for one night. Matthew has no problem dressing alone and he could probably help me."

Anna smiled at the thought of this. She imagined that Mr. Crawley was a lot better at undressing Lady Mary than dressing her. Or at least, she assumed that was the case by the way she found Lady Mary's clothes haphazardly strung around the room one morning. Anna appreciated the offer, but knew Mary was not quite that lax. And, it would be better for Anna to have something to do that night. She needed to stay occupied to avoid another pity party.

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm afraid it may cost me a job. You may prefer the way Mr. Crawley dresses you, so I will be on time." Anna joked.

Mary smiled back at Anna but it was clear she was still concerned, "Please, Anna, at least let me join you. I could come in town with you and let Matthew catch up on business or do whatever solicitors like to do on holiday. I really don't want to leave you alone."

Anna sincerely appreciated the offer because she knew Mary was genuinely concerned. But Anna shook her head, "Milady, I think what I want most is to be alone. I deeply value your kindness, but I just would like some time with my own thoughts. I feel a lot better after our talk." Anna wanted to inject that she would feel guilty stealing more of Mary's time, but she knew Mary would just object to such a statement.

"Anyways, I'm sure Mr. Crawley is wondering where you are. We must get you ready. " That statement seemed to put an end to the conversation. Anna returned to prepping Mary for the day. Anna was considering if she should still go to town after all. It was after luncheon and she would need to be back in a few hours. But no, John's voice screamed inside of her head. You need to relish life. He would be disappointed to hear that she spent their anniversary curled up in a ball in her bed. No, John said again. You will go to town, and you will enjoy it. And the sound of John's voice inside of her head made her smile.


	3. An Intimate Purchase

Anna was blinded as she walked out of the house into the sunlight. Everything seemed to be brighter here, the sun, the buildings, and she hoped it would have a positive effect on her attitude. She turned to her left and could see the tops of sails in the harbor. Anna instead walked right, away from the main promenade, and into the heart of Cannes.

The air around her was warm, but not yet suffocating. Anna passed the store with the crêpes and headed down a street that blocked the sun. She had no plans on where she was going, part of her wished she would get miserably lost. She needed some other concern besides John.

As Anna approached a church, she contemplated going inside. Her whole life, she had been trained to go to a church whenever there was trouble. And Anna had spent many hours in kneeling in church the last year. For so many months before the trial, she prayed for John to be found innocent. But once that did not happen, she seemed to disconnect from her faith. John had discussed his struggles with church many times before. He explained about the pain he had seen and caused in the world and wanted to believe in God, but never felt him. In the past, Anna could never fully understand his viewpoint, but finally, after the ups and downs of the last year, she was able to feel the same spiritual struggles. Small doubts crept into her mind whenever she began to pray. But, no, Anna refused to lose faith in God or in John. If she lost faith, she could lose anything.

Anna decided to wait on church, maybe until the way back. She felt like she was in a dangerous mood for prayer. It would probably only end with disappointment and that was not what she needed. Besides, the weather was not too hot yet. She could always seek refuge in the cool, dark church later in the day. Anna managed to convince herself that not entering the church did not mean she gave up hope. And Anna willed herself to believe that her prayers would be answered and John would be free. She just needed to work at her faith just like she had to work to prove John's innocence.

Anna walked through the crowds near some shops. She finally decided to stop in a bookstore. After going row after row, she found nothing that piqued her interests. The shop contained great French books about art, cuisine, and architecture, filled with gorgeous pictures. She paged through a few of them but simply put them back. She finally arrived at a row full of English authors and yet, she just walked past. She had always loved reading, but today, she did not feel like reading a romance novel or a thriller. She found that she had enough suspense in her life without reading a drama. And after being surrounded by Mary and Matthew all week, she hardly wanted another glimpse into someone else's love life. Disappointed, Anna left the store empty-handed. She found her thoughts traveling back to John, alone in his cell.

Anna meandered around the French streets for nearly an hour stewing in her worries. "C'mon, Mrs. Bates, you are on holiday, lighten up." She said quietly to herself. As Anna looked around, she noticed the crowds had thinned and she was in a different part of town. She realized she had managed to find herself in front of a cabaret.

Anna was amid an area that faintly reminded her of the surroundings of the Moulin Rouge. Many summers ago, before the war, Lady Grantham took the girls and Anna to Paris for a few weeks during their time in London. One day, the French chauffeur seemed to find a little enjoyment in taking the fine British ladies through the red light district. At first, no one seemed to notice their surroundings, but the chauffeur continuously looked back at the women and smiled. Finally, Lady Grantham noticed a poster and sternly warned the chauffeur to find his way. The girls seemed confused by the exchange, but Anna had no problem seeing the advertisements for the can-can dancers.

While there was no giant windmill, Anna still spotted similar posters for the cabaret. Very few people spotted the street, but she guessed that would change in a few hours. This part of town seemed to thrive on the night life. As Anna turned to head back to the house, she was drawn to a small shop. With her limited French, she managed to notice the word love in the sign. Anna suspected what the store was, but did not know for sure.

Before she even realized it, she was heading towards the shop. The shrill ring of the bell as she opened the door made Anna jump. She did not need her arrival announced since she was just going to peak in for a second. And yet, Anna continued to walk in. What was coming over her? Curiosity, rebellion, boredom? But Anna thought about it. She was not doing anything wrong, she was a married woman, and she was looking in a store.

Before Anna had the chance to properly look around, the shopkeeper approached her. The French woman had short hair and donned far too much make-up. Anna could smell her thick floral perfume and noticed the leather texture of her skin. The woman smiled smugly as she assessed Anna. She could feel her cheeks burn red as the woman stared. The shopkeeper broke the silence with some pleasantries in French. Or, Anna could only assume they were pleasantries because she did not know much more than Bonjour. But after Anna remained quiet, the shopkeeper seemed to realize.

"English?" she asked and Anna nodded. "How may I help you?"

Anna tried to reply but she felt embarrassed. She was not even sure what to respond. Anna looked around the story and was taken off guard by what she saw. She saw an area filled with lingerie, but her eyes instead lingered on a side wall. Many phallic-shaped objects hung from the wall and various contraptions filled the shelves. Anna had no idea what purpose the contraptions would serve. The French were clearly more brazen about their sexuality. She had never come across a shop like this on repressive English soil.

As Anna looked around, she seemed to lose her nerve. "I… umm." She began to head to the door when she noticed a section by the register. It was a wall full of garters of all different colors. Something about the garters made Anna feel more confident. Maybe because they were innocent enough, but still sensual. Just like she was, well at least according to John.

Anna's mind transferred back to one year ago.

After Lady Mary had shown Anna their wedding night room, she immediately wondered how she would tell Mr. Bates. Maybe she could put it in a note, no, in person would be better. She just needed to figure out how to get him alone. But as luck would have it, he bumped into her outside the servants' hall. Anna heard a few muffled voices from the hall but couldn't tell whose.

"I thought you went off to bed without saying goodnight." John quietly looked around the hall to make sure no one was listening. "Mrs. Bates," he added with a boyish grin. The very fact he could call her that seemed to excite him.

"Well" Anna said quietly, again checking to make sure everyone was outside of earshot. "I found us a room for tonight." Anna watched John's reaction. John's eye grew with understanding.

"You sneaky, sneaky girl," John said filled with surprise and eagerness. They had agreed how they would have to wait to tell everyone before consummated their relationship. They were to have a proper night together once they were in the open. And yet, John did not ask how Anna secured a room. He only asked when and where. He clearly hated the idea of waiting any longer as much as she did.

Anna quickly described the room they were to meet in one hour. And John just stared at her quietly with a smile.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Well, my wife seems to be sweet, but" he paused and moved closer "she is a very naughty girl" he hissed into her ear. Anna would have kissed him there but knew the others were so close. Instead, she disappeared from his sight in silence, hoping to build more suspense, and waited for their rendezvous.

The memory put a smile on Anna's face. Yes, a garter would work perfectly. She seemed to embody the duality of pureness and sexuality, just like the garters. They were nothing too outlandish, and yet, had a very specific purpose. And the idea of hiding the garter under her dress, waiting for John to find it, sounded wonderful.

"I'm interested in one of those." And then the shopkeeper led Anna to the garters. Excitement replaced all sense of shame and embarrassment. John would love hearing about this purchase. The shopkeeper showed Anna some of the different colors and styles. Some have designs while others were plain.

Anna grabbed a simple, white lace garter. There was a little white bow in the center of the lace. Anna held it in her hand and enjoyed how soft it was. Yes, this would work perfectly.

"Ah, yes a good choice." The shopkeeper encouraged her. She appeared to want to show Anna around more of the store, but Anna walked to the register. "I think this will be all."

The shopkeeper looked disappointed. As Anna paid, the woman asked, "Would you like it wrapped?"

"Yes." Anna said quickly. She hoped it would be discretely wrapped. She did not need half of Cannes and Lady Mary to realize her purchase. This garter was for her and John only.

Anna received her wish. The garter was covered in brown paper and small enough to fit in her bag. She tucked it into her purse and tentatively said "Merci" to the shopkeeper.

As Anna returned to the streets, she felt oddly renewed. It felt nice to have a little secret. She was reminded of the day after the wedding.

After only get a couple of hours of sleep together, John reluctantly woke up Anna with a kiss. "We better both get downstairs. We wouldn't want to get caught."

After they dressed and put the room back into order, Anna softly kissed John goodbye. She had not wanted the night to end, but there was no point on dwelling on that.

Anna and John did not meet again until breakfast. Most of the servants were quiet since they were still a house in mourning. Anna struggled to stifle her happiness as she took her usual spot next to John. She avoided his eye contact because she knew she would not be able to shown restraint. Anna should have been exhausted, and yet, she had never felt so alive. Their previous night was replaying in her head again and again. And no one else knew about their secret tryst.

Anna could not contain her excitement. Making sure no one else was watching, she brazenly grabbed John's leg under the table. He clearly had not expected such a gesture as his entire body trembled. In their years together, Anna and John had briefly touched or even held hands under the table, but Anna had never dared such a bold move. She continued to avoid eye contact as she caressed his leg. She looked around at everyone, completely oblivious. Yet she could hear John's breaths increase. He was working hard to restrain himself, but that's not what she wanted. She wanted him to take her right there on the table. At that thought, Anna lost all control and grinned brightly. Ms. O'Brien seemed to notice, but at that moment, Mr. Carson came in and both women remained quiet. Mr. Bates took the opportunity to free himself from the torture and left for upstairs.

Since Jane had left that morning, Anna was alone to make the beds in the ladies' rooms. She was busy fumbling with the sheet when she saw John in the doorway.

"I'm glad I found you alone." He clearly wanted to say Mrs. Bates, but did not since he was still in the hall. He walked in and closed the door behind him.

Anna watched as he closed the door and did not know what to expect. Was he going to reciprocate her brazen action with one even more so? He walked over and held her and kissed her. She felt herself melt into his body. But too soon, he pulled away.

"That's all I can risk." He said reluctantly, and he was right. But she wanted to risk it all and just be together again.

John started again, "But I need to talk to you about breakfast." Anna knew this was coming. "It's not that I don't appreciate it, but it's too dangerous. Even if everyone knew we were married, we have to show restraint."

Of course, John knew a lot about self-control and so did Anna. They had practiced it for seven years with each other. But Anna finally felt she should be free to express her love. But alas, he was right. She would just have to wait to get him behind closed doors again.

"I promise, I will fully reciprocate, once we get our own place. I've been thinking I would tell his lordship on Wednesday and see if the offer still stood for the cottage. I can't see why it wouldn't. But it's going to take time, weeks, maybe even a month. So moments like this morning can't continue."

He edged closer to kiss her again. "But don't think I don't enjoy it, because I do, a little too much." And with that, he left.

As Anna stood in the French streets, she longed once again to be in that cottage with John. Of course, he never said anything on Wednesday, since he was already in jail. But Anna turned her thoughts away from that and instead contemplated how to tell John about her purchase. She considered writing in a letter, but how would she tell him. No, she would wait to tell him in person. It excited her to think of his face when she mentioned the garter. Yes, it would be nice to have a shared moment to look forward to once he was freed.

As Anna neared the house, she came across the church again. While she contemplated praying earlier in the morning, she could never enter the church with her purchase. The very thought made her blush. She would save the church for another day, she just wanted to get back to her room and secure the garter in her trunk.

Anna had a feeling the garter would appear in one of her dreams. Since she had been sleeping better, more and more of her dreams had been about John. Before they were married, she regularly had fantasies about John. But her dreams recently have been so much more intense and life-like. Maybe because now she knew what it felt like to have John on top of her and inside her, to feel their presence combined into one. She always woke up very warm and flushed after such dreams, but secretly, she always looked forward to them. It reminded her what it felt like to be close to John. As Anna returned to the house, she hoped her night would be filled with a satisfying dream.


End file.
